by Mike Favila, Editor
When I heard of the first iteration of The Expendables, it almost sounded like an urban legend. Like fan fiction made up by a 12 year old me, it had every action hero from the 80s and early 90s under the sun. Unfortunately, when i saw it, the results were less than perfect and somewhat underbaked. I liked the results, but not enough. Like a Phantom Menace apologist, I started making excuses for the film to the people I hyped it to. Even with more people in Expendables 2, somehow Stallone was able to tweak the formula, and provide actual entertainment. The plot itself was still flimsy and forgettable, but the narrative structure was intact, and Van Damme proved to be a credible villain.
Expendables 3 opens with a sequence like a video game, where the skeleton crew (Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham and Stallone himself) are chasing a speeding train to free a mystery man onboard. Maybe it’s because I know Dolph has a million scientific degrees, but I find him totally engrossing. That is, until i see Wesley Snipes. Snipes plays an original member of the first Expendables crew, who we’ve never met. He’s stuck on board the train, with a face mask reminiscent of Silence of the Lambs. His afro is growing out of one side of his head, and he’s got the crazy eyes. Like I said: classic Wesley Snipes.
Unlike those new franchises where they always want an unproven face for the audience to project on, this franchise is the opposite. We know all these guys’ baggage, and that’s part of the fun. When they ask Snipes what he was locked up for, and his response is “Tax Evasion”, it’s an easy joke, but I still laugh. Mel Gibson is revealed as the bad guy, and everybody knows that it plays into public perception of him as a bad guy. Stallone says “I am the Hague” as a punchline. Arnold telling everybody to “Get to the choppa!” Life imitating art imitating life imitating… This is exhausting. That being said, the action set pieces are amazing in Expendables 3, but personal. Most of the real winners are the one on one combat sequences.
This time around, the new star additions to the cast feel natural, rather than a set of cameos. Kelsey Grammer is a hoot here, and I barely recognize him. In Expendables 3, he plays a recruiter who helps put together the new team. He can go from dramatic to funny, on a turn of a dime. Mel Gibson (as arch nemesis Stonebanks) is perfect for the role. He’s a rich jerk who cares about nobody, and slips into the role perfectly. The gravitas that Harrison Ford brings to each scene just make it seem realer, and less cheesy. I don’t know why. He’s a great handler here, and a much better fit than Willis. And Banderas is still super funny, playing a tragic buffoon who moves fast and talks faster. To some degree, everybody gets a little slower moment, much like Mickey Rourke did in the original. It reminds you that everybody in Expendables 3 was a massive star for a reason.
Ronda Rousey is cool, and I like the other new dudes enough, but to some degree, that’s not really what I (or the audience) signed up for. The new bucks smacks a little bit of Cousin Oliver syndrome. It seems like a somewhat lame attempt to reenergize Expendables 3, even with excellent actors joining the cast. I could have done without that inclusion, but I guess there wouldn’t be a movie without it.
Though Expendables 3 did not do as well as the others, it has a stronger dramatic element than the first two. Though it’s hard to take this kind of film too seriously, everybody really sold the material. At least for a little while, I forgot I was watching the Ocean’s 11 of action movies. The PG-13 was a big bone of contention with the fans, but it honestly doesn’t affect the strength of the action too much here. This is definitely my favorite of the series. Check it out today!
Rating: 
ComicsOnline gives Expendables 3 3.5 out of 5 machine guns!
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