I wish I knew how to quit you.

by guest reviewer and Kroze Kresky,  Media Editor

When 20th Century Fox first announced that a new entry in the long dead Planet of the Apes film franchise (Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes does not exist according to this reviewer’s brain) was in the works, many didn’t bat an eye at the news.  CGI monkeys? James Franco as the lead?  People still care about these movies?  Turns out Rise of the Planet of the Apes is the sequel no one asked for and yet is the surprise movie hit of the summer!

Rise begins with Will Rodman (James Franco – Freaks and Geeks, Spider-Man Trilogy, 127 Hours), a well meaning medical scientist who is researching a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, a condition his father (John Lithgow – Twilight Zone: The Movie, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Shrek, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Dexter) is struggling with.  After making a startling breakthrough in his research, testing quickly begins on live primates.  Things go wrong when one of the test animals goes on a rampage in order to protect its young and is quickly killed.

Will’s project is closed down and all of the animals are ordered to be disposed of.  Will finds the baby ape and brings him home in order to save its life and makes a shocking discovery.  The baby chimp is smart… really smart due to the experimental drug that has seemed to been passed down from mother to son genetically.  Will names him Caesar and begins to chart his progress as Caesar’s IQ begins to surpass that of your average human. Upon finding this out, Will begins to start human testing the experimental drug on his own father who begins to recover himself from his Alzheimer’s and the three of them live on happily… until one day when Will’s father starts to relapse and causes their angry next door neighbor (David Hewlett – Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis) to attack the Alzheimer’s stricken father.  Caesar, who’s protective animal urges kick in, runs out to defend against the loud angry idiot and bites off the neighbor’s finger.

Caesar is taken by animal control and is then court ordered to be placed in a reserve for simians.  Now smart enough to know how his fellow kin are being treated badly in such a place, Caesar immediately comes up with a plan to teach the humans a lesson for locking up and torturing his fellow brothers.  Thus the rise of the primates begins!

Like Avatar before it, Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a fantastic technological demonstration.  The various computer generated primates used throughout out the movie look near identical to their real life counterparts.  During most of the movie’s run time, you will forget you are watching computer animated creatures and not watching the real thing.  Only when in a close up shot or fast motion scene will you notice the telltale signs of the CGI, thus breaking the illusion but those moments are few and far between.  The apes are so lifelike and well animated  that this will be one of the few movies that will actually bring you to care about what happens to Caesar.  Motion capture actor expert Andy Serkis (Lord of the Rings) returns here as Caesar and his motion capture work is at its finest.  Not only is Caesar’s movements extremely lifelike but as his response to the drug grows, he continues to develop more human like characteristics.

effing Slytherin is on my list.

Most of the cast is also spot on in their respective roles.  Fans of various Sci-Fi TV shows will be very amused as several actors from popular TV shows in the genre pop up all throughout the film making the entire cast of this movie quite the pleasure to watch. Frieda Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire) is the weakest out of the entire cast as Will’s newfound girlfriend, Caroline, who is never given much to do throughout the film and feels like she is only around to fulfill the requisite romantic interest subplot of all big summer blockbuster movies, but Caroline never detracts from anything else within the movie.

Harry Potter fans looking to see how much Tom Felton’s career has expanded due to his longtime role as Draco Malfoy will need to look elsewhere.  He plays the same arrogant asshole here except wands are replaced by cattle prods and fire hoses.  As soon as his character is revealed, it’s not long until he gets his much expected comeuppance.

I have had it up to HERE with profiling!

Once again, like Avatar before it, humans are made to be the villains and viewers will be left feeling sorry for the mistreated primates after discovering their only wish is to live free and climb trees.  Also for those who pay close attention, there are plenty of nods to the previous series including news segments of the Mars landing and television clips to keep longstanding fans nodding towards the next one in the series.  Rise of the Planet of the Apes is the most exciting, emotional and unexpected surprise movie of the summer during a time of disappointing blockbusters (Yeah, I am looking at YOU Cowboys and Aliens… don’t think I have forgotten about those 2 hours of my life back that you still owe me!) and is not one to be missed!

ComicsOnline gives Rise of the Planet of the Apes 5 musical sequences on The Simpsons out of 5!

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