by Chelsea Dee, Editor-At-Large

There are spoilers for the show and some of the books. You have been warned.

I just have to note that when Stannis muttered a grammatical error fix to himself, I actually laughed out loud. He is becoming a strangely likable character. Which leads me to believe he’ll die horribly soon enough. It’s like the moment I said “you know what, I’m really enjoying you now,” the people in charge sensed it and started writing his murder. That’s what this show (and A Song of Ice and Fire) does to me. This was a good solid episode, and it had some nods that book fans would enjoy, and added new things for TV. On the whole I haven’t minded the additions to the show, with some caveats: Arianne (I told you that wasn’t going to stop) and I’m worried about Sansa taking on the Jeyne Poole role. Please prove me wrong, show. Previously on Game of Thrones, Sansa got engaged to psychopath Ramsay Bolton in order to take over the North. She’s finally back in Winterfell, but it’s very bitter. Jon and Stannis were becoming bros, and Jon became Lord Commander. Tyrion was snatched by Jorah, who wants to bring him to Dany. Dany’s been struggling with her rule, and she might be really in trouble now, because Ser Barristan is dead.

This was an example of a change from the books, since Barristan’s alive and well over there. Alas. I think it makes sense they would take Dany’s best advisor away if they plan on having Tyrion and Varys come to her eventually. She’ll have that space she needs to fill, and until they do, she’s flying blind. Grey Worm survived and he’s nursed back to health by Missandei. Those two finally kissed, good for them, except it’ll probably end in pain, as it always does. Dany decides to arrest all the noble houses, including Hizdahr zo Loraq who has been her advisor lately. In true badass form, she threatens to feed them to her dragons, and does indeed force one of them to be burned alive and eaten by them in front of the rest. Yiiiiikes. It does frighten them mostly into submission, but after talking to Missandei, Dany decides to make a turn around. She’s going to open the pits and to make peace, she’s marrying Hizdahr zo Loraq. Ooookay. It’s almost like her naive attempt to force her ideals on a whole different culture without showing much respect to their terms wasn’t a good idea. In any case, I’m glad it happened this way, because in the books the marriage was more forced on her for business reasons. I like her having made the choice for herself instead. Jorah and Tyrion are on their way to her, and they cut through Valyria. This is something that was never in the books and it looked absolutely beautiful. They get their first sight of a real dragon, and Peter Dinklage’s awed face was so great. Of course then they got attacked by stone men (greyscale infected people). Tyrion almost drowned after being forced into the water, but Jorah saved him. They’ve lost their ship, and Jorah secretly hides that he’s been infected with greyscale. Oh man is he going to die in the show when he hasn’t in the books too? They’re more bloodthirsty than GRRM!

Meanwhile in awkward city, aka Winterfell, Ramsay tells his girlfriend not to bore him or he’ll probably torture and kill her, because he’s a romantic like that. She decides to give psychological warfare to Sansa by telling her where Reek/Theon is. She’s horrified of course. At first Theon doesn’t tell Ramsay about it, but he admits to lying, and Ramsay decides not to cut him to pieces … this time. Instead he decides to be a real prick about it and have Theon serve them at dinner. He then forces him to apologize to Sansa for killing her brothers, maybe even privately challenging him to tell her the truth that they aren’t dead. I appreciate that Sansa seems to in general be showing no signs of weakness here. She is cold as stone and not feeding Ramsay’s sadism in the least. She learned from Joffrey, but even with Joffrey she would placate him to stay alive, or show fear. Here she seems to have no energy for nonsense. She does smirk however when it turns out that Roose is going to have a child by his wife, challenging Ramsay’s position. Ramsay’s freaked out. I say RIP to the wife, he’ll find a way to destroy her somehow. Roose tells him that his mother was a peasant that he raped next to the body of her husband for marrying without his permission. So the crazy is strong with that family. Brienne is nearby, ready to come save Sansa whenever possible.

Stannis is hanging out at the Wall, but he’s ready to leave and go toward Winterfell. Jon is advised by Aemon to “kill the boy” (the title of this episode) and become the man. He declares that he will be allowing the wildlings to come to the wall and make an army. His people are very angry about this, and they do have understandable reasons, but he points out that WINTER IS COMING and so are the ZOMBIES so they have bigger things to worry about. Jon plans to leave with new wildling leader Tormund and try and persuade the wildlings to join them of their own accord. This might not be his smartest plan. Davos tries to persuade Stannis to wait for Jon to bring him soldiers, but he’s outta there. I theorize that Stannis and the Boltons have a conflict, and Jon sweeps down to save Stannis the way he saved the Wall. That would be pretty cool symmetry. I still keep praying that Sansa doesn’t get tortured, and ends up stabbing Ramsay in the face instead. That would be great. Roose too, honestly. The North remembers, and they murdered her family, so. If she meets up with Stannis, he’ll let her keep Winterfell. Crossing fingers, but let’s be real, nothing good ever happens to her. Then again, with Brienne nearby, and she said she’d kill Stannis, there’s conflict coming. It’s halfway through the season and I’m already worried for everyone I care about. That’s Game of Thrones for you.

Rating:
ComicsOnline gives Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 4 4 out of 5 Stannis Grammar Corrections

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