by Chelsea Doyle, Editor and Jachelle Overstreet, Reporter

Previously on Game of Thrones, Cersei and Tyrion were forced to get betrothed to Loras and Sansa. No one is happy about this outside of Tywin. Melisandre stole Gendry from the Brotherhood to use his royal blood for her own reasons. Arya got captured by the Hound. Dany was being awesome everywhere and threatened all the slavers. Sam and Gilly were trying to get to the Wall after he saved her and her baby from his brothers going psycho.

King’s Landing: It’s the wedding of Tyrion and Sansa. As usual, neither of them is happy about it. Tyrion apologizes to her a few more times, and they try to be polite to each other. At the wedding Joffrey decides to be cruel and gives Sansa away, plus takes away Tyrion’s foot stool so his height is ridiculed. This leads Tyrion to drinking heavily at his wedding party, and Joffrey threatens Sansa with rape afterward. Olenna remarks on how they’ll all be related in a weird way after the weddings, and both Loras and Margaery try to make peace with Cersei. She’s having none of that. Tywin tries to get his son to calm down, and then Tyrion threatens Joffrey when he tries to make everyone strip Sansa down for the bedding rituals. When they get to their room, Tyrion says his father ordered him to consummate the wedding, but he doesn’t feel comfortable having sex with an unwilling participant. He says he’ll wait until she wants him, and she asks what if she never does. Shae is happy the next day when she can see they did not have sex.

Stannis and co: Melisandre introduces Gendry to his uncle, and she seduces him later that night. While he’s into it, she ties him up and uses leeches all over his body. Apparently she is using the blood in the leeches to curse Joffrey, Robb, and Balon Greyjoy. Stannis is like booyah, hopefully that takes care of all my rivals. This is after he releases Davos from prison after getting a promise he won’t try and kill Melisandre. He tries to persuade his king not to hurt Gendry, since it’s his blood and an innocent boy. Obviously that doesn’t work.

Queen of the Dragons: Dany gets confronted by the leaders of the mercenary group hired to kill her. They swear they’re going to do it anyway, even if she tried to sway them to her side. They’re pretty insulting. One of them, Daario, seems enamored by her. When he’s picked as the person to go kill her that night, he ends up refusing and killing both of his companions. He takes over the mercenary group and gives command of them over to Dany, after approaching her when she’s naked and vulnerable in the bath of course.

Everyone else: Arya thinks about killing the Hound until he reveals he’s taking her to Robb and Catelyn instead of King’s Landing. This makes her stop fighting with him. Sam and Gilly are attacked by one of the White Walkers, and Sam manages to kill it with a dragonless dagger. They probably shouldn’t have left the dagger behind when they ran. Yikes.

General Opinion of the Episode

Dee: Good episode, as usual. I do think very little actually happened in this one. It happens once and awhile since this is another example of them setting up the chess pieces for when they’ll move them in the episodes coming up. So most everyone was stuck in one place and coping with their current plots. Which isn’t a bad thing, it just means there’s a little less energy to it than usual. Still I thought the wedding and wedding party stuff was great, and pretty much exactly how I pictured it in the book too. I can’t say that I was super crazy about the others, mostly because I’m not sure how much I like the changes they’ve made to the Gendry story since this is drastically different from the books. And I’ll get into why I have a problem with Daario below. I wouldn’t call it a bad episode, because Game of Thrones never has bad episodes, but it wasn’t the best either.

Jachelle: I’m going to say that this episode was awesome for the wedding stuff alone. It was pretty freaking fantastic. It’s definitely the part that has stuck in my mind the longest. Drunk Tryion at the wedding just made my week. Actually, pretty much all of the Lannisters. God they’re so hilariously dysfunctional. Everything else was good and fun to watch, as always. But this episode was definitely all about the wedding for me.

Favorite Scene

Dee: Can I just say everything about the wedding party? I mean this was such gold. Tyrion getting drunk, Joffrey being horrific, Olenna being sarcastic, Cersei being hilariously bitchy, everyone being on their A game in terms of acting. The Lannisters are so messed up, and it’s like watching a bad reality TV show family sometimes. So I’m going with that’s a full scene so yes I can use it. I do think I will choose Cersei’s stuff as being my favorite, because she made me laugh out loud several times, followed up by Tyrion’s “I’m the King of tits and wine.” I think a good part is when Cersei viciously snipes Margaery and you can just see the wheels in Margaery’s head turning otherwise like ‘not if I don’t strangle you first.’ Also “no one cares what your father said.” HA. Oh man. Okay. Fun times.

Jachelle: WEDDING PARTY WOOOO. I mean, it should be sad because this wedding basically sucks and no one wants it, but it’s like watching a hilariously snarky train wreck. You can’t look away! I can’t remember how the exact line goes, but the one Tryion says as he’s pulling Sansa away, about throwing up on someone while having sex. And then he says “Come, I’ll tell you about it. Put you in the mood.” I couldn’t help cracking up. Just bless that entire scene.

Least Favorite Scene

Dee: I think probably Daario coming into Dany’s tent while she’s bathing. I get they’re supposed to be making him into some badass who can kill people and go where he wants, but it just seemed like shabby defending on the part of her soldiers instead. They went through a lot of effort to say that she had a badass army, it seems extremely unlikely it would be that easy to go into her bathroom like that. It felt like they were just trying to make him seem cooler by lowering the competence of Dany’s people, like she needs him more than anyone now. Which makes me side eye since he’s clearly a potential love interest and I’m not sure I like it. It rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I think it’s gross for any scene when a strange man walks in on a naked woman bathing and thinks he has that right. I’m looking at you Skyfall.

Jachelle: Melisandre and Gendry. I mean, COME ON. That poor kid has been through enough recently. And now he’s the lamb heading for slaughter. I haven’t made it far enough in the books to know what’s going on with him yet, but clearly the show is going somewhere different and it makes me NERVOUS. Because I don’t want him to die. Nothing was particularly wrong with the scene. In fact it was very well done. I just don’t like the implications.

Favorite Character

Dee: I’m going with Tyrion, and not because he refused to have sex with Sansa until she wanted him. Because to be fair, I don’t think a character should be rewarded for not wanting to rape a fourteen year old girl. That’s just sort of general good ethics, and the way people should be. Sure others in that world wouldn’t hesitate to do it with her, but I can’t really applaud Tyrion when it’s a basic decent thing to do. I’m glad he didn’t, but that doesn’t make him a hero honestly. Good on you, not raping a girl. Let’s give you a parade. Anyway, I’m going with him because beyond that, he has treated Sansa very well and seems intent on protecting her as much as he can. His threat to Joffrey at the wedding was great, as was his way of brushing it off, and he was pretty hilarious if unfortunately drunk beyond belief. Honorable mention goes to Sansa for handling all of this without going completely freaking crazy, and for being direct a few times. Including “what if I never want you?” and when she pointed out Tyrion definitely was not in the same position she was.

Jachelle: The God of tits and wine. Tyrion! Mostly just because he was damn funny in this episode, and watching him was a delight. But beyond that, like Dee said, he has put forth a lot of effort to protect Sansa. And we all know that protecting Sansa is the quickest way into my good graces on this show. I can only hope that he can keep doing so in the future.

Character Who Should DIAF

Dee: We didn’t get any Ramsay! WOO. Probably Stannis for this one. Melisandre is the one who plans on using Gendry, but he had the power to stop her, and he doesn’t want to. He ignored the very good advice of Davos, although I’m glad he let Davos out of the jail cell. Shame on you, Stannis. You can’t consider yourself the morally right one when you’re sacrificing people at the altar, especially your own blood. But then again you murdered Renly so you don’t care that much, do you? SHAME.

Jachelle: THANK GOD THERE WAS NO RAMSAY. I’m going with Joffrey this week for being the slimy little maggot that he is. Ridiculing Tyrion during the wedding ceremony, threatening to rape Sansa, trying to ruin the wedding party. He’s such a sadistic little creep. I want to kick him in the head with steel toed boots. Bless Jack Glesson for playing him as perfectly as he does, but I seriously don’t know if I’ll ever be able to watch that kid act in anything else every again because the very sight of his face drives me into a rage.

Rating: – While not a great deal happened in this episode, the wedding party was so unbelievably fantastic we were both laughing the entire time.

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