Abraham Lincoln was one of the most important Presidents in our country’s history, which is why I imagine Seth Grahame-Smith chose to write a novel in his quirky style of serious-story-meets-pop-culture-fantastical-addition. He’s done this with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which seriously had me considering if that wasn’t a better story than the original – certainly more entertaining. I am a huge fan of this author, and so when he came out with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, I knew I had to read it. Because really, there were only two Presidents I felt he could have written this about, and Teddy Roosevelt wasn’t as…um…svelte as the protagonist needed to be. Believe me when I tell you that I watched the trailers for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter multiple times in recent months with growing excitement.
The book made me believe that it was TOTALLY possible that vampires were the real reason the Civil War was started. Grahame-Smith did a fantastic job maintaining the sober, powerful demeanor of Lincoln and the language of that time period while throwing terribly resourceful and violent vampires into the mix. I was so looking forward to seeing that come to life and so…disappointed when it didn’t.
I generally enjoy Tim Burton movies. Sure, he has a specific style and you can tell within minutes that it’s a Burton production, but he’s pretty great at his stylized version of things. HOWEVER, in this case, I didn’t much appreciate it at all. He made Lincoln into a super human and some of the fight scenes were so over-the-top that even suspending my reality of things didn’t help. There is one particular scene, when Lincoln is attempting to catch the vampire who killed his mother (the issue that started his desire for vengeance but nowhere near the ONLY thing driving it, but sadly the only thing the movie puts in) and they are leaping over and through a herd of running, wild horses. The vampire throws a damn horse at Lincoln, hitting him square on and crushing him underneath it. I can get lost in this world long enough to think of Abe Lincoln as a bad ass vampire killer, but I cannot do so long enough to believe that a human being would not only survive that without a scratch but actually come up on the horse’s back as it rises. I think I actually snorted in disbelief. Sadly, the effects in this particular scene were really sub par as well, making it my least favorite point of the movie.
Perhaps I just didn’t expect it to be quite so unrealistic. Lincoln was made into this Superman-type character, only not as cool. Also, for a two hour long movie, it seemed surprisingly short – everything just jumbled together into one long vengeance fight scene with some small snippets of how Lincoln came to be the President. Seth Grahame-Smith already created a fantastical narrative – all they had to do was re-create it. It was DONE for them already; they just had to bring it to the silver screen in the same style and it would have rocked. Burton just went all Burton-y on it and, in my opinion, failed in this endeavor. Apparently though, Grahame-Smith was a fan – he was screenwriter and producer on the film as well.
Never fear! This movie isn’t a complete bust; there were several silver linings. Benjamin Walker in his breakout role did a great job playing one of the most well known men in US history. He did a good job bringing humanity and calm into his role, though he didn’t get to utilize it much. I really look forward to seeing him more. Everyone else was fine, too, though I feel like I would have chosen someone other than Dominic Cooper (Captain America: The First Avenger) to play Henry Sturgess. I felt as though he made the character a bit too manic, though perhaps that was the director’s doing and not Coopers’s fault at all – I really like him in his previous roles.
Some of the fight scenes were amazing to watch and I did find myself cheering. Lincoln and his old friend Will Johnson (Anthony Mackie – What’s Your Number?, The Hurt Locker) fighting vamps on top of the moving train while passing the ax back and forth was flawless, as was Lincoln’s annihilation of vampires at the ball. I enjoyed watching him fight – I just thought some of it was simply too much and I would have liked to leave the theater thinking the same thing I did at the end of the book: “Yea, I could buy into that.”
All in all, fans of the book will be left wanting more. I went with someone who had read it as well and they were equally disappointed. It’s quite possible that the flick is entertaining for someone without the expectations I had and I suppose it was entertaining as a summer popcorn flick – just not much more than that.
Jenn at ComicsOnline gives Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 2.5 out of 5 silver forks that change the world.
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