by Erin Hatch, Editor-At-Large

Now you can get your copy of Red Riding Hood: Alternate Cut available on Blu-ray/DVD/Digital Download combo pack!

I was prepared to write a truly scathing review of Red Riding Hood. Honestly, I wanted to relish this, to really tear into it, to say that it was total dreck and that watching the film was a pain in the neck and a waste of my time, so it should be taken as an enormous complement when I say that I am a little bit disappointed that this movie wasn’t as horrible as I expected it to be. In fact, there were several moments that I thought were actually good. I’ll admit, I might have pre-drank a little too much, and thus enjoyed the movie more than I would have sober.

Not that Red Riding Hood isn’t bad. It is, it totally is. The acting is horrible. Outright horrible. I would say laughably bad, but there is nothing funny about how bad the acting is in this film. There are maybe two performances in the entire film that aren’t horrible, and one of those is Gary Oldman, who I am being very generous to because he at least seems to be having fun with his horrible role. The other worthwhile performance comes from Kacey Rohl, and is limited to one scene in which her character (a friend of the owner of the titular Riding Hood) relishes the downfall of her companion after she is accused of witchcraft.

The story is an adaptation for the classic fairy tale to bring it into the Twilight age, which means, aside from the fact that almost no one bothers acting in the film, that there is a romance shoehorned into the story, as well as a huge romantic rivalry and a healthy dose of teenage angst. And a few scenes of passionate love-making between the protagonist and the object of her affections, tailored down to PG-13 sensibilities. Also, there is a huge musical/dance sequence that makes no sense and is generally absurd, despite the fact that the music is fairly catchy, if completely out of place for a pseudo-medieval village in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it is just the fact that the acting in Red Riding Hood makes the cast of Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace look like seasoned professionals at the top of their craft, but I never felt any dramatic tension between any of the characters in the romance plot, and very little tension in the werewolf plot, even though it occupies the rest of the film.

The film looks cool, at least – some of the time. Kind of. Actually, most of the visuals are bland, and some try so hard to look cool and edgy and hip that they fall flat, but there are a few really cool moments in the film. The use of color (especially red) is striking in many cases, and there were a few specific shots in the film that I found particularly appealing. All in all, the interesting ideas in the design and production of the film fail to make up for the blandness that surrounds them.

Given that this is the special Alternate Cut release of the film, I felt that I should go back through and watch it a second time before finishing this review, just so that I could be sure that I noted all the differences between the two versions. Here goes.

(2 Hours Drunker)

Ok, I am back, and I didn’t notice one difference between the two cuts of the film. MAYBE the lovemaking scene at the end is slightly less PG13. According to the box, the PROVOCATIVE ALTERNATE ENDING is the draw for the different cut, but really, the scene is still only marginally more steamy, and the plot and dialogue stay exactly the same. I would guess that the run times differ by maybe thirty seconds, at most.

Special Features:
-Secrets Behind The Red Cloak: A picture in picture commentary featuring director Catherine Hardwicke, actors Amanda Seyfried, Shiloh Fernandez and Max Irons, along with story boards and concept art.

-The Reinvention of Red Riding Hood: A discussion with the cast and crew over the Red Riding Hood fairy tale and the adaptation of the themes of the story on its journey to the big screen.

-Red Riding Hood: Red’s Men: A look at the two male leads: Shiloh Fernandez and Max Irons. I am pretty baffled about the reason for this feature. Perhaps they are trying to build the reputation of the two leading men? Are they some kind of teen idols? I am not the target demographic for this feature. (Thought: If these two boys are as important as the special features and box art say they are, why did Gary Oldman get top billing?)

-Red Riding Hood: Making of the Score: The score of Red Riding Hood is one of my favorite aspects of the film, so looking at the creative process behind the music was fun.

-Before the Fur… Making of the CGI Wolf: A series of shots tracing the development of the CGI Wolf from in one of the combat scenes in one of his first appearances. It doesn’t go into too much detail, but it is an interesting look at the process.

-Casting Tapes: Is it sad that some of the casting tapes have better acting than in the finished film? I mean, once Amanda Seyfried and Shiloh Fernandez are out of costume and dressed in their civilian clothes they suddenly act… natural! As if they actually mean what they are saying! On the other hand, this feature pretty much just lets you see scenes from the movie played over again, except without any of the visual style that made the film interesting.

– Rehearsals: Similar to the casting videos, these videos of rehearsals feature rough versions of scenes with the actors in rehearsal clothes, and show how the scenes came together. Unlike the Casting tapes, which seemed to focus on more intimate scenes, these videos seem to focus on scenes that required a lot of choreography among several actors: the dance sequence and wolf attack sequences, for example. They’re fun to watch, especially in how they establish what the rough draft of these sequences looked like, and give a hint into the thought being put into what was happening behind the camera.

-Red Riding Hood in 73 seconds: A version of the film in which everything except the key plot points are skimmed over. (And nothing of value is lost.)

– Deleted Scenes: Not a huge amount of cut content, but a few interesting scenes that didn’t make it to the final film, or the alternate cut.

– Gag Reel: Maybe this wasn’t the best of all films, but at least the cast and crew seemed to have fun making it, as this feature demonstrates.

– Music Videos: “The Wolf” and “Just A Fragment of You.” Basically samples from the excellent score set to video snippets from the film. Nothing spectacular, but the music is good.

There are a lot of special features here. Perhaps an excessive amount of special features. Some of them are cool, and I am sure fans of the film will get a kick out of every second of video available to them, but did I really need to watch the casting videos? Really?

Overall:
Really, the thing that keeps me from hating the film is the same thing that keeps me from liking it: this is a movie targeted thoroughly to the Twilight demographic, and I do not speak the same language or think the same thoughts as them. I realized this after watching the special features and noticed that the Blu-ray includes more than a few samples of rehearsals for the theoretically titillating and yet totally PG-13 make-outs that populate the film. Even without the justification of different target audiences, I found certain parts of Red Riding Hood to be genuinely interesting visually, and the score was great (even though the one medieval rave scene was… obnoxious). Unfortunately, those interesting aspects of the film are hidden in a dramatically flat story that has such bad acting that even the recognizable actors in the film, who have been great in past performances, have at best written in their performances. The special features may not be particularly special, but there are a lot of them, which should please fans.

So, is Red Riding Hood any good? I guess that depends on whether you are a teenage girl.  That said, even if you are a teenage girl, you will probably take issue with some of the poor acting and less than stellar writing. Probably. Still, the film has some redeeming moments, but not quite enough to justify sitting through the rest of this mess.

ComicsOnline gives Red Riding Hood on Blu-ray – 2.5 out of 5 silver plated werewolf killing press-on fingernails.

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