We are quickly thrown into the backstory of the world as the film opens up telling the tale (or is that “tail”?) of a great war between humans and monsters called “Kaiju” (No, they aren’t trying to market off the popularity of all things Japanese right now… Not. One. Bit.). The narrator (who ends up also being our hero of the film) explains that this isn’t just history, but his family history as his mother ended the war by making peace with one of the then-rampaging beasts… And then falling in love with him… Yes, you read that correctly folks. The war was ended because godzilla sexed up a girl (Well, I guess HE got into a little humanity! BA-ZING!! No, seriously though.. Right now Godzilla is crying because of this). We then transition into present day, where we are introduced to Duncan Rosenblatt, an orange-skinned half-human/half-dragon Kaiju teenager who eats charcoal (this is where its suppose to get juicy I guess… Get it? Cuz he’s orange?). Duncan and his mother just moved into a brand new town, so Duncan enters into his first day of school! Yipee! You know what this means folks? A bunch of generic high school cliche’ characters for Duncan (and us) to be introduced to! Wait wait wait.. Let me try guessing the upcoming stereotypical characters… The “perfect” girl-next-door/love interest who may or may not have interest in our main protagonist? Ding! Right on the money! And boy what a money shot it is for when we first meet this wonderful lady (Who is totally not a Mary Jane Watson “tribute”! Nope! She has BLONDE hair!), we are treated to a first person view from Duncan’s perspective of… Her ASS! (Can you really blame Duncan for wanting some of those donuts?) This cartoon is just FULL of classy moments like these! Okay, lets guess another one… the asshole jock who picks on our main hero and is also the boyfriend to the aforementioned love interest (anyone call for Flash Tompson)? DING DING DING! Two for two! Man, it seems Firebreather really wants to be Spider-Man, only with hot bestiality action in place of a radioactive spider. The only thing missing now is the annoying best friend character who is also a total geek and social outcast… and look: she’s there too!
After that annoying intro to Duncan’s school and personal life, we finally get into the meat of things with Duncan suddenly learning that he can breath fire, hence the title of the movie. Upon discovery of this new power, Duncan’s father shows up out of the blue and demands that Duncan take his place as the “King of all Kaiju” and rule over all monsters (Man, that’s a burden I wouldn’t want to be DRAGON around… get it? CUZ HE’S HALF DRAGON? If you think these puns are bad then you will be interested to know that they are taken out of the actual movie dialog… yeah… it’s THAT bad.). Duncan’s father then throws him in a pit of lava so he can gain his “Kaiju form”. Painless transition, indeed.
The plot here is the standard birth of the “XTREME” hero story that we have seen time and time again. There is little here to set it apart from countless other Cartoon Network shows such as Generator Rex and Ben 10, besides the giant monster motif, which really isn’t enough to carry it. The movie is also hurt by the constant animation style changes that has no cohesiveness to it and is very inconsistant. Pick a style and stick with it guys! The CGI is horribly animated, especially compared to other such CGI animated shows like CN’s own Star Wars: Clone Wars.
Special Features:
-Deleted Scene
-2D Animation Test- Preview of the concept animation
-Animatics
-Visual Development
-1080p Video
-5.1 HD DTS Audio
Overall:
For Cartoon Network’s first fully CGI animated film, Firebreather doesn’t come anywhere close to living up to their various other projects and efforts. The film has some good talents, but nothing ever comes together in a way that makes this a particularly engaging watch. There are so many missed moments in Firebreather to really do something unique or special, so it all ends up being just the same ol’, same ol’. Better luck next time CN.
ComicsOnline gives Firebreather on Blu-ray – 2 Godzilla sized condoms out of 5.
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