by Matt Sernaker, Managing Editor

Cowabunga! 

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles return to the big screen for the first time in years, and now get their first CGI/Live Action adventure. It has been a long time since we last saw Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael take on the Shredder in theaters, and Nickelodeon has decided it is time to bring the Turtles back for more adventures. The iconic heroes in a half shell are being brought to you by Director Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles), and Producer Michael Bay (Transformers: Age of Extinction), who take a decidedly different spin on the 80’s property. 

If it looks like a turtle, acts like a teenage ninja, and is cool like a mutant…is it still a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? The answer may (or may not) surprise you. I will be the first to admit, the new design for the Turtles actually works out pretty well onscreen. The concept art was pretty scary to say the least, but seeing the designs in action worked out well for the 2014 installment. While the Turtles’ redesign worked out well, Shredder looks like a giant Swiss Army Knife Transformer and didn’t really provide much of a Ninja-type threat for the heroes. Splinter’s CGI design was just weak and looked unfinished. The Turtles standing next to April looked like they were there in real life, but Splinter stood out as being unblended with his surroundings.

As far as acting, Megan Fox (Transformers) does an admirable job with the script that she was given for April O’Neil. This is not an April that we have seen before…and she ends up coming across as more of a crazy person who ultimately gets no vindication by the end of the film. Sure, she has a yellow jacket to signal to the audience who the character is meant to be, but even with all the time the film focuses on her, we still don’t really care if she makes it out alive (I was actually cheering when she was falling off the building…Just saying…). William Fichtner (The Dark Knight) plays Eric Sachs, who partnered with April’s dad to create the mutagen. His character was assumed to be the Shredder in disguise, but he ends up being little more than a pawn for the big bad. Tohoru Masamune plays the Shredder, who comes off as an extremely generic villain with a robot suit. Will Arnett (Arrested Development) ends up stealing the movie as Vernon Fenwick, April’s devoted cameraman. Arnett’s character made the movie enjoyable, and provided some great reactions to the revelation that the turtles actually existed. 

The voice cast for the Turtles themselves worked out surprisingly well. The brothers were played by Alan Ritchson (Hunger Games: Catching Fire) as Raphael, Jeremy Howard (Galaxy Quest) as Donatello, Noel Fisher (Battle: Los Angeles) as Michelangelo, and Johnny Knoxville (Jackass) as Leonardo. The worst casting decision of the film has to be Tony Shalhoub (Monk) as Master Splinter. No effort was made to even make the wise old rat sound remotely close to the character, and comes across as a flat vocal performance without any soul. Anytime Splinter spoke on screen, I was cringing. 

To say that there has been a lot of controversy associated with the pre-release of this movie would be an understatement. Michael Bay’s reputation for disregarding source material and going for a different take on 80’s properties is well known (see Transformers: Age of Extinction). For a time, fans were told that the Turtles in this movie would actually be from outer space, and that the “Teenage Mutant” part of the title would be dropped for a simpler “Ninja Turtles”. Leaked images of the turtles didn’t inspire any confidence either, and made many long time fans question if they would even see this movie (myself included). While the final product does contain many elements from the original TMNT property, the heart of the story was pretty much ignored and discarded. Sure the Turtles look and act like the lovable heroes we knew, but their motivation and origin was tossed aside for a really dumbed down and nonsensical story. April’s dad was working on mutagen, and had the Turtles and Splinter as test subjects? April already had named the Turtles as a kid? Splinter taught himself karate and ninja skills from a few books he found in the sewer? The “Foot Clan” are just mercenaries that look like they work for Bane in The Dark Knight Rises? The Shredder just decided to walk around in a giant robot samurai armor suit for the entirety of the movie…just because? These are lazy choices done by lazy writers. There have been so many amazing stories from the comics and shows over the years that could have inspired this updated take on the live action franchise, and instead the powers that be went with a really lame concept.

While the story elements were the big letdown for the movie, the 3-D was probably some of the best that I had seen to date. The interactive element was at an all time high in Turtles, and the creative team really took advantage of playing with audience reaction. I really enjoyed visuals in the film, mainly due to the depth and camera work.

So who is gonna love this movie? Once again, kids will rule the theaters. For the same reason that Transformers: Age of Extinction excelled in the box office, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will probably have a similar status. Adults will probably find mixed enjoyment from the film, but kids are gonna eat this stuff up. 

As someone who grew up with the 80’s and 90’s movies and cartoons, I really disagreed with the creative story choices in this movie. I wish that more thought and consideration had been used in regards to the heart of the characters, but that didn’t keep me from finding a few moments that made me regress back to my childhood. 

Rating: ComicsOnline gives Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) – 2 out of 5 reasons why turtles like pizza.

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