by Mister Sparta, guest reviewer
Hello again, folks, and welcome to “Mister Sparta’s Creature Feature.” Let me start off this review with a great quote: “All Great Films, Without Exception, Contain An Important Element Of No Reason.”
This quote was from the movie I’m about to review: Rubber. I’m going to start by telling you this: This movie is simultaneously brilliant and just awful. But, here’s the kicker. The movie itself knows this and tells you from the start that it’s in no way to be taken seriously. And from the start, you have full permission to enjoy this movie unadulterated.
I’ll get this out now, the antagonist of the movie is a sentient tire that kills people with its mind…I’ll repeat that…the antagonist of this movie…is a sentient TIRE…that kills with its MIND…if you listen closely, you’ll hear the sound of someone’s mind being blown to bits. I shall now continue the review.
Half the cast members play The Audience, which in itself is a jab with a sharpened pencil into the bowels of theater audiences. These characters each relay the stereotypes of a typical movie theater audience (i.e. talking to loud, stating the obvious, complaining that it’s boring, etc.) and they serve no other purpose but to fuck with your head in a Movie-Within-A-Movie sense.
The term “No Reason” used the opening of the movie is the recurring theme, as everything these characters say and do have absolutely no reason to them. And at this point, if you’re watching the movie and actually asking why they’re doing what they’re doing, then slap yourself in the face for being a twat!!
From a substance viewpoint, this movie can be seen as great big pile of meaningless shit. But this movie is anything but substance. It offers nothing, explains nothing, and delivers nothing, but that in itself is the point of the movie. And once you understand and comprehend that, this movie becomes absolutely brilliant. This movie is one of those rare gems of a movie that is so terrible it comes full circle and is actually a great movie.
My Final Judgment? Find a way to see this. If you decide to watch it, you’ll get a few laughs. If you decide to never see this movie as long as you live, you’re life will not be that much better or worse for it. I mean, by no means is this movie going to set the world on fire, but once again it’s not meant to be. It’s a swimming pool that is both shallow and deep at the same time and how you view this movie will affect your opinion of it.
If you’re at all confused by this review, then congrats, because that was my intention. Until next time, this is Mister Sparta and being in a hotel room wearing no pants with a live turkey while a tire showers in the bathroom sounds like a typical Friday night for me back in high school. See Ya Next Time.
Hopefully that can of Fix-a-Flat is within arm’s reach, so pump up that tube and head on back over to ComicsOnline for everything geek pop culture.
